You can make toast with an iron, but you can't iron with a toaster.

1. Seeing-eye dogs

2. Rescue dogs

3. Police dogs

4. Tracking dogs

5. Hunting dogs

6. Herding dogs

7. Junkyard dogs

8. Patrol dogs

 

This is just a short list of the many duties dogs are able to be trained to perform. As opposed to cats, they are useful, indispensible animals working hard with man to make the world a better place. Now what about cats?

Nothing! I defy anyone to give me one equivalent example of something cats can be trained to do which improves life. I don't believe it can be done. On the contrary, cats are useless lazy animals serving no other function than to catch rodents and spread disease throughout the homes in which they  live.

 

Dogs stay on the floor where house-pets belong. Cats are everywhere. From the floor, to their shit-boxes, to your bedding, to the counter where you prepare your food. If you are a fan of filth save yourself the expense of cat supplies and just sweep your floor and then gently sprinkle the contents of the dustpan over your bed, your furniture and your food preparation areas.

 

Dogs interact with their active, social owner/masters. They are happy when you return home and want to play. They love to learn and want to please. A dog can be trained to swim, play frisbee and share other enriching activities with you. They will protect you and your property and warn you of intruders.

 

Cats ignore everyone. They are inactive and antisocial like their owners. They are disinterested and oblivious to everything. A potted plant is superior to a cat. A dead potted plant is superior to a cat. A pot full of nothing is superior to a cat. Plant your cat in a pot of rich soil and maybe your home will cease to stink of the stench of litter and cat filth.

 

My very large Irish-Italian family all believe the best cat is a flat cat. I believe we shall prevail and the world will one day be catless.

 

Repeat after me: Cats suck! Dogs rule!